Clash of the Titans
From: Namco Bandai
For: PlayStation 3, Xbox 360
Genre: Action, Movie, Tie-in, Fantasy
ESRB Rating: Teen (13+)
Clash of the Titans
While it's true that Greek mythology pre-dates videogames by a millennium or three, any game featuring Titans, Olympian Gods and/or plain old supercharged Ancient Greeks these days can't avoid comparisons to God of War, the gold standard for excessively epic action games. Such is the exact case of Clash of the Titans, a mythological Mediterranean hack 'n' slash that simply screams "God of Wannabe."
As just a game of hacking and slashing as Perseus, aka "the dude in the skirt," Clash of the Titans the Videogame does okay, even though its loose affiliation with a lame summer popcorn movie doesn't help with the credibility thing.
The main issue with the game is that for every enjoyable hack, slash, soul sucking power-up and magical thrown down invoked by skirt boy, there's and equal amount (or more) of little stops in the action for some mandatory, non-interactive plot contrivance, dumbass visual prompt or single-serving conversation interruptus, brought to you by Wood the Dialogue Coach, written by Mrs. MacDonald's Grade 5 grammar class.
That the nicely rendered world stretches out as far as the eye can see - or as far as the graphics chip can render, as the case may be - does give Clash of the Titans a decent, current generation high-def look - more so on the Xbox 360 than the somewhat-jaggy drawings of the PlayStation3 version - but to actually interact with that world is nigh impossible.
Turns out Perseus and his skirt are woefully limited to small playable areas tightly circumscribed by more invisible walls than a trailerpark funhouse. See that path there? Someday you'll be able to walk down it, but only after a wooden one liner from Cookie the Cutout Character telling you there's a pressing need go that way. See that knee-high crate that looks like something to stand on for a better look around? Sorry, that's a no-go zone, walk around, Skirteus. Oh, and mind the no-go rock, shrub, vase, air molecule...
Then, confined as you are to an action area the size of a wrestling mat, watching skeletal thugs emerge from the ground, or underworld-ish boss baddies Stargate in from a soap bubble, is so manifestly reminiscent of God of War (and most any other game featuring imaginary friends and enemies) that it's underwhelming and unimpressive to anyone who has played a T-rated fantasy videogame in the last 10 years.
That you're gaining experience, learning new moves and hackneyed Simon Says combos, pilfering new (and ridiculously huge) weapons and otherwise buffing up at meted intervals not only smacks of the thin veil over repetitive gameplay that it is, but its slipshod, often-nonsensical implementation only serves to illustrate that you'll have more fun playing the finely tuned, deftly executed God of War I, II and III for the fourth time rather than this average looking, bad playing Titans game once.